Happy New Year to you! I'm obviously really excited to start another chapter in my life which includes fulfilling my some of my goals if not all. Last night was fun for the most part, it was a bitter-sweet ending. I was so anxious for the year to end that I couldn't really even have a good time. Matt and I went down to SB to this little cheap-ass club on State st. It was fun and the bartender was sssuuupppeerrr cute! I told him so as my civil duty as a single woman.

I also ended up meeting Oscar in the parking garage (classy I know) he had to go to work this morning at 2:30a so whatever. Long story short, I gave him a new years make-out session. I didn't feel anything at all the whole time. I was like trapped inside this fantasy idea of being "lucky" to finally be getting a NYr's eve kiss. Who cares?! I was SSOOO upset with myself for forcing something where there was NOTHING for sake of being alone for the beginning of the year. When I got out of the car this shame cloud immediately came over me. I was not supposed to have been so enamored with this person just because he thought I was attractive.

It's OK that I got a little carried away, I know, but I should have felt my heart out instead of listening to "what my mind told me" My heart wasn't in it from the beginning, I wasn't attracted to him. He was not my type at all. But the fact that he was nice to me and had called me pet names fairly early was such a new, happy thing for me. No doubt in my mind that I will find or someone will find me this year and we'll take our friendship to the "next level" and perhaps fall in love. That's one of my utmost hopes for the new year.

I was just ended up so blindsided by the attention that I ate it all up. The lesson I've learned from all of this is just because someone thinks or says you're cut or funny doesn't mean they should get rewarded to get to know the inside of you're mouth before they know your mind. That's why the anatomy goes: Head, Lips,Heart.