Apples to Apples?

For those who happen to follow my blog...I've been avioding the "blogging" for a little while. I've been writing my virtual diary directly to my therapist. I guess it kinda cuts down our weekly sessions if she already has an idea of where my life is. So all in all people reading (if there are any) I'm doing OK for the most part. I have a new job at the popular grocery chain "Fresh and Easy" I made the mistake of running down "H" st in my bright green F&E t-shirt screaming "fresh and easy!"...."Wait! NOT ME!! THE STORE!!"

I had to laugh at myself (which I often do) because I was so loose lipped with my exclamation but hey it's me, what can I say? I'm awesome. If you know me, you know that fame has been my goal since the tender age of 9. I wanted to be a fashion designer a crny if you will. I had some cute stuff, and as I got older I went in and out of making my own things while sporting my used thrift store duds.

My parents and sister HATED the way I dressed. When I look back at old pictures I can't believe the way I dressed. My style now, or lack there-of, is still kinda sporty and masculine. I've decided that those 5th grade dreams of showcasing next fall's fashion in the spring of the current year isn't as hard as it seems. Back then I had no fear. I didn't think " I can't do this" I wanted to be on Kids in Corporated! and the Mickey Mouse Club! I didn't think of limitations that could stop me from achieving my dream.

And then you grow up and people want nothing more that to tell you, you can't do something. They "seed of doubt" you, then fear sets in. You want to have that fearless superhero feeling and now like a lame magic trick it's gone. So now, a little under 10 years later, I've seen what can happen if I go for it. I've seen what a little perseverance can do for one's future and I'm standing in line to sign on the dotted line of my future, the rest of my life, my 5th grade dream is going to get a fighting chance because I'm going to let it, and kick fears ass! I may even buy one of those "No Fear" t-shirts with the little angry face on it...Then again they're hideous and I have more fashion sense than an RPG playing twelve year old boy. Right?